NBA Funnyman Paul Shirley Coming to Minnesota
Tell your friends, tell your blog aggregator: Timberwolves sign F Baker, Two Others. Two others! Is this all the recognition Paul Shirley gets for devoting himself nearly part-time to writing the funniest, smartest basketball blog ever?
I can’t tell you how excited I am to see this guy warm up before games and sit on our bench and maybe even play a little. This is the kind of thing that gives you hope for the coming season.
OK, so the picture doesn’t do him justice. Check out these pearls of Shirley-isdom:
“Most of my colleagues are quite tall. I am no exception at 6’10”. When in captivity, on the basketball court, I am able to easily forget the fact that my bones are stretched to an extraordinary length because I am surrounded by other members of the freak show. Not so when I am released into the wild. Then, I am forced to remember… by stupid people.
After one of a recent session of the basketball camp … I picked up my staples (cereal and yogurt figuring prominently among my selections), and headed out the door. As I was leaving, a man searching for a nearby accountant’s office accosted me when he observed my heightful frame and said, “Hey man, you should have played basketball. You’re really tall.”
What, basketball? You’re kidding. Why didn’t I think of this sooner? It’s a good thing you came along, man.”
Or this one:
“I have not played a meaningful minute since I re-joined the Suns in January. My role on this team, with regard to games, is to cheer at the end of the bench, give encouragement to my teammates as they leave the floor during one of the 74 timeouts in an NBA game, and stay prepared enough to play should catastrophe or blowout befall my team. I do not however, play when it counts. I am still trying to wrap my brain around this concept as it is a new role for me. Contrary to popular belief, I am not actually retarded, and can occasionally make a coherent basketball play.”
Hey, he’s even got a book coming out: A View from the End of the Bench: Eleven Teams, Six Years, Five Countries, and My So-called Career as a Profession al Basketball Player.
Seriously, with Shirley on the team (hopefully blogging) and Mad-Dog getting more serious about his writing every day, I think we’re in for a good season.
Comments (One comment)
unfortunately they only signed shirley to a nonguaranteed contract, meaning he is signed through training camp but that the wolves are under little to no financial obligation to keep him for the actual season roster.
so, he is certainly not a lock to actually make the team after training camp. the wolves already have 13 guaranteed spots of the 15 man roster filled, leaving two spots to fight over for vin baker (or F. Baker [a la thespian F. Murray Abraham], as the headline to your linked article would have you believe he was called), second round draft pick craig smith, tyrone ellis (the other of the “Two others”), 7 ft journeyman daniel santiago, and anyone else they happen upon before the season starts.
and you are right to reference shirley’s blogging for the suns website, as it was definitely the high point of his off the court work - while there were moments in his much more extensive espn.com pieces (they gave him a gig after the surprising cult sucess of the suns.com things), they were generally not nearly as good as his suns.com ones, which were pure gold.
jp / October 4th, 2006, 10:49 pm / #
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